Lily 5
Summary
- The protagonist Lily reflects on the well-meaning advice "just be yourself," pondering its simplicity and the real-life risks for some.
- Lily recalls a childhood moment involving her experimenting with lipstick and fearing her father's reaction.
- Years later, struggling to find the words to describe her feelings, Lily feels invisible and reflects on its burdens versus its perceived allure.
- Lily's mother inquires about her thoughts, leading to a discussion about invisibility and the significant sacrifices her mother has made for her.
- While playing Schubert on her cello, Lily breaks a string. In her mother's presence, she reveals her fear of ruining her mother's life and worries about her romantic interest, Asher.
- Lily feels unsupported by her dog Boris, who used to be more attuned to her emotions when he was younger.
- Lily's mother shares a rescue story of hikers as a metaphor for preparation and decision-making, hinting at Lily's own life choices.
- Faced with the dilemma of revealing her transgender identity to Asher, Lily weighs the risks of telling him or keeping it a secret.
- Lily recounts her mother's dedication and the impact of her family's move, all aimed at creating a safer environment for her.
- Visiting a music shop for a cello string, Lily encounters Lizzy, a transgender woman store owner who seems comfortable in her identity.
- Lily struggles with whether or not to tell Asher about being transgender, feeling the pressure of living with the consequences of honesty.
- Lily sends a text to Asher asking him to meet her. She reflects on her identity and transition, including her right to privacy and her history of being outed.
- Asher arrives at Lily's house, and they share a passionate embrace. Lily desires to be close to him, but she is also burdened with the secret she holds.
- Lily finally reveals to Asher that she is transgender, leading to his confusion and ultimately his decision to leave to "think," which leaves Lily heartbroken.
- The chapter closes with the ending of All Souls' Day, and Lily is left alone with the cold wind and the tolling of church bells, symbolizing a turning point in her life.