Episode 100 Brene Brown

Summary

• Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston and a leading expert on the topics of shame and vulnerability
• Vulnerability is defined as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure, and is the willingness to be seen and show up with no control over the outcome
• Courage is choosing what is right over what is easy, practicing one's values, and choosing bravery over comfort
• Shame is the intense belief that something is wrong with us and that we are unworthy of love and belonging
• Shame is often personified as a formidable foe, and it hates to have words wrapped around it
• Vulnerability and shame are often connected, as vulnerability requires courage and can often bring up feelings of shame
• To combat shame, it is important to practice vulnerability, honesty and empathy with oneself and others
• Brene Brown's research focuses on shame, empathy, and vulnerability
• Vulnerability is the willingness to show up and be seen with no control over the outcome
• Courage is choosing what's right over what's easy and practicing values, not just professing them
• Shame is the belief that something is wrong with us and that we are unworthy of love and belonging
• The opposite of shame is empathy and connection
• Believing in one's own worthiness is the foundation of belonging
• The "I am enough" mindset is different from contentment; it allows for the healthy ambition and competitiveness that drives people to achieve great things
• Believing in one's own worthiness allows for vulnerability and allows people to be more open and authentic in their relationships
• Shame is fueled by perfectionism and blame
• The opposite of shame is accountability, which involves owning mistakes and recognizing the impact on others
• Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change
• Empathy and vulnerability are essential for leadership and changemaking.
• Vulnerability is about being willing to be seen without control over the outcome
• Courage is about choosing what is right over what is easy, practicing values, and being brave over being comfortable
• Shame is an intensely painful belief or experience that something is wrong with a person, leading to a feeling of being flawed and unworthy of love and belonging
• Perfectionism is a shield to protect oneself from shame, blame, criticism, and judgment, but it keeps a person from being seen
• There is a distinction between perfectionism and striving for excellence
• Suffering is a natural part of life, and it is futile to try to eliminate it completely
• Insights from research can be found in various philosophies and schools of thought, including Marcus Aurelius, liberation theology, Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, and Joseph Campbell, among others.
• Brene Brown is a researcher who focuses on the topics of vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame
• She has found that perfectionism is a defense mechanism used to protect oneself from criticism, shame, and judgment
• Perfectionism can be harmful because it keeps people from being seen and prevents them from being vulnerable
• Vulnerability is a daily practice that involves sharing meaningful aspects of oneself with others
• Vulnerability is also related to trust, and trust can be built through acts of vulnerability
• It is important for people to be both tough and tender, and to be able to express both emotions
• Some daily practices that can help with developing vulnerability include meditation, gratitude journaling, and asking for help
• Men and women both struggle with vulnerability, but men have a harder time with it due to societal expectations
• It is important to teach children about vulnerability and to raise them to be emotionally available and to be able to express both toughness and tenderness
• Brene Brown is a researcher who studies vulnerability, courage, and shame
• Vulnerability is a daily practice and can coexist with toughness
• The order in which to read Brown's books is: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong
• Success is difficult to define and can be dangerous, it's important to make sure your goals align with your values
• A $100 or less purchase that has positively impacted Brown's life recently is triathlon goggles
• Brown's ideal billboard would be located in Washington D.C. and have the words "Stay curious, stay engaged" on it
• Brown's superpower is empathy
• The three books that Brown would gift to all of humanity are Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.