Introduction: The Great Cradle Debate

Summary

• Laura and Michael Rose are a happily married couple who have different hobbies and interests but also enjoy spending time together, leading an active social life.
• Despite their seemingly perfect life, the couple are uncertain about whether they want to have children. The indecisiveness has started to drive them crazy and they are constantly changing their opinions.
• Michael fears that life might become boring and thinks about his friends and siblings who are parents, while Laura has concerns about her work and their relationship.
• The author proposes that the indecisiveness of couples like Laura and Michael about having children is actually a golden opportunity for personal and relationship growth.
• The book, The Baby Decision, is presented as a guide to help couples make the decision about having children and to use that decision as a springboard to greater fulfillment.
• The author explains that the decision to have children needs to be made by considering one's potential happiness rather than a sense of obligation, and that one can change their mind in the future.
• However, making a non-decision or avoiding the decision can lead to chronic emotional turmoil and feelings of frustration and ambivalence.
• The decision-making process is thus presented as both healthy and necessary, and there is no universal right answer, depending on the unique qualities of an individual's personality and relationship.
• Readers are directed on how to use the book and are also presented with a "Decision Maker’s Bill of Rights", which includes the entitlements to make a decision independently and to take into consideration personal needs, values, and goals.
• At the end of the chapter, the author provides a series of guidelines to help readers perform the exercises included in the book.

• The chapter discusses the necessity of understanding what aspects of parenthood appeal to you and considering alternatives that align with those aspects.
• If being a parent is a higher priority than genetics or pregnancy, adoption could be a potential solution, eliminating the stress of fertility treatments.
• If alternatives like donor insemination or egg donation are not appealing, considering a childfree lifestyle could be an option, even if it seems unthinkable at the moment.
• The author acknowledges the difficulty of making the choice to be childfree after enduring many efforts to conceive a child, but suggests that this choice may become more sensible over time.
• The chapter includes references to readings tailored to individuals considering a childfree life after struggling with infertility.
• The author offers their own article, “Childfree Decision-Making," and discusses this perspective further in the childfree section of their book.
• The author acknowledges the frustrations of struggling with infertility while reading about individuals who choose to be childfree despite having the ability to conceive or carry a pregnancy.
• Despite these frustrations, the author expresses hope that the book provides guidance, healing, and connection to readers wrestling with infertility.