Chapter 14: Small Pleasures: Looking Toward Parenthood

Summary

• The chapter advises those who have decided to have a baby not to worry excessively about the many potential issues and questions, but instead to focus on preparing mentally for parenthood.
• Readers are advised not to expect immediate pregnancy upon deciding to have a baby and are encouraged to reach out to medical professionals if pregnancy does not occur within six months.
• The chapter encourages the reader to envision positive scenes of family life to see parenting as a fulfilling experience.
• The reader is told to consider aspects from their childfree life that they may wish to retain after having a child, such as solitude or social outing.
• The chapter encourages seeking help to navigate any emotional problems that may interfere with parenting, for instance fears of being a bad parent, reliance on the child for personal fulfilment, or unresolved concerns about the decision to have a child.
• The reader is warned against unrealistic expectations of parenthood and expecting perfection in their children or their parenting.
• The chapter offers different ways in which having children can contribute to personal growth such as learning about oneself, gaining a fresh perspective on life, and developing discipline and organization.
• Readers are advised on ways to maintain their individuality and avoid losing their identity to parenthood and the risk of martyrdom that comes with it.
• The chapter presents different strategies for maintaining individuality for mothers who stay at home, working mothers, and all mothers in general.
• These strategies include taking time away from the baby, spending time with other adults, getting out of the house, pursuing personal hobbies or professional goals, and seeking professional help when feeling overwhelmed.