The chapter opens by normalizing post-decision doubts and the many “what ifs” that follow choosing to have a baby. It reassures readers facing age or fertility concerns that while medical or adoption teams handle procedures, they can actively prepare psychologically, building confidence while waiting.

Preparation begins with realistic timelines—conception may take time, and help is advised if conception lags beyond six months after thirty. Readers are encouraged to picture a healthy pregnancy and close family bond, take childbirth and parenting classes, study child development, and seek role models. They are urged to preserve valued parts of pre-baby life, address fears or past trauma in counseling, and discard perfectionism about themselves or their future child.

The chapter reframes parenthood’s rewards: children can offer affection, perspective, comic relief, motivation to engage with the world, and ongoing prompts to grow in flexibility and self-discipline. It stresses that enjoyment depends on realistic expectations and balanced meaning, not on expecting a child to repair life.

Drawing on “To Room Nineteen,” it warns against losing one’s self to motherhood and critiques impossible cultural standards. It argues that mothers’ needs persist and must be honored, because repression breeds anger and depression. The goal is to build “room for growth” at home rather than reenacting martyrdom.

Concrete survival tactics follow. At-home mothers are advised to secure time away from the baby, pursue a visible nonfamily goal, find adult contact, join groups, seek help for depression, or return to work if desired. Working mothers are urged to schedule personal time, be realistic about standards, and share or outsource labor. For all mothers: acknowledge difficult feelings without shame; release tension safely; communicate needs clearly and request specific changes; choose activities that reflect both the child’s and the parent’s interests; skip performative “earth mother” tasks done from duty; reject guilt-inducing advice; and insist on continuing identity, mission, and boundaries as children grow.