Chapter 45

Summary

• The narrator, Evelyn, and her co-star Don are filming a movie called Three A.M. in New York, causing long days on set that affect Evelyn's home life.
• Evelyn's friends and family watch her daughter, Connor, while she works on the film.
• Don's acting in the film is raw and superlative, using his personal life experiences as fuel.
• Evelyn portrays Patricia, a woman who loves a drug addict, and believes the film will change public perception of her and Don and may impact people's lives.
• Evelyn sacrifices a lot of her personal time, including sacrificing time with her daughter and love interest, Celia, for the film. Even though Celia supports her, Evelyn senses a strain.
• The director, Max, pitches a very explicit and realistic sex scene between Evelyn and Don's characters to better depict their relationship in the film.
• Evelyn hesitates, due to societal norms and expectations, but ultimately agrees because she wants to shift the narrative of female desire in film.
• However, she fails to discuss and obtain Celia's consensus about the explicit scene, causing her to feel guilty.
• Evelyn successfully shoots the explicit scene with Don, using past feelings to fuel her acting. Despite the rumors, they did not have real sex during the scene.
• After shooting the scene, Evelyn breaks down, knowing she has been unfair and dishonest to Celia.
• Celia, upset by what Evelyn had done, moves to L.A and ends their relationship. She also files for divorce from John, her placeholder husband, which Evelyn sees as Celia divorcing her.
• Desperate to mend their relationship, Evelyn flies to L.A and begs Celia to take her back, even offering to quit acting and make their relationship public. However, Celia refuses and tells Evelyn she "cannot be loved enough to be anyone's."
• The chapter ends with Evelyn returning to New York alone and heartbroken, feeling that she pushed Celia too far.