Chapter Eighteen

Summary

• The protagonist wakes up with a severe hangover and misses the planned noon visit to her father's birthday celebration, intending to rest a short while longer.
• She wakes again at 14:47 to a call from her mother, stating her father has died, causing her to feel guilty for not being there.
• She reacts in disbelief and tries to deny the truth, but her mother confirms the devastating news.
• Filled with guilt and grief, she lashes out at her flatmates, blaming one of them for convincing her to stay out late the night before.
• The protagonist discards the decoration materials for her father's birthday cake in anger.
• When confronted with her actions, she has a difficult interaction with Jo, who defends herself by saying she didn't force the protagonist's decisions.
• After her friends leave, the protagonist is contacted by her brother James, who urges her to find company, and by her mother, who gives more details about her father's passing.
• The protagonist indulges in sugar-laden food, recalling past moments shared with her father.
• Ben, the protagonist's companion, comes over, initially unaware of her father's death; a routine interaction turns hollow for the protagonist.
• After a physical encounter that leaves her feeling empty, she tells Ben about her father's death, leading to Ben supporting her through her grief.
• Ben demonstrates kindness by staying with the protagonist and organizing breakfast, though the protagonist feels disconnected from everything, including food.
• She communicates with her workplace and her friend Cam, informing them and processing her father's death.
• The protagonist rejects the offer to stay with Ben, opting to have her friend Nia stay with her instead while her flatmates are away.
• Nia's arrival provides comfort to the protagonist, who is grateful for her friend's presence.
• The protagonist attempts to pray but struggles with what to say now that her father has passed.
• Despite her deep loss and the events of the day, she has not cried and wonders about her emotional state before falling asleep with Nia by her side.