Regret Overload

Summary

• The protagonist, Nora, recalls her past relationship with Dan, who she met through her roommate Izzy. Dan was an Art History graduate working as a PR head for a protein flapjack brand. He aspired to own a countryside pub, a dream he wanted Nora to share.
• Nora was enthusiastic about Dan's goal, leading to their engagement. However, she later realized she didn't want to marry him due to her fear of resembling her mother's marriage.
• She speculated if her parents were compelled to marry due to societal pressures, a pursuit she never wanted for herself.
• Nora refers to a Bertrand Russell quote about fearing love is equivalent to fearing life, suggesting her possible fear of living. She notes the irony of Bertrand, a man of multiple marriages and affairs providing such advice.
• Her mother's death three months before the wedding led to immense grief and depression. Despite suggesting postponing the wedding, they never did, causing Nora to feel anxious and out of control.
• Nora equates her chaotic feelings with the impending wedding, making her feel trapped. Her attempts to gain freedom, like staying single, disappointing Izzy, starting work at String Theory, and getting a cat, ironically felt restrictive.
• Nora's reminiscing is interrupted by Mrs. Elm's concern, triggering her guilt over past actions and accumulated regrets. She describes her overwhelming pain as unbearable.
• Mrs Elm instructs Nora to close a book, 'The Book of Regrets', she has been reading, telling her she has to do it herself. Upon closing the book, Nora finally feels relief.